Perpetual Void

When you do the thing you love, with all your heart. No second thought, no remorse, no obstacle you can see, no focusing needed cause you are so immersed in it. At that particular moment, at that split second, you are no longer who you are or what you are nor it matter. You become something else, beyond anything. you become perfection.

It’s that beautiful state of mind. It’s an art.

When you dance.

When you sing.

When you think.

When you play football.

When you raise your child.

When you cook.

When you work.

When you…

For some apparent reason, I think I have been hacked.

OK, not hacked, but someone must have logging into my account, scan through all the piece and bits, and worse, edit a little here and there.

True, for instance. I have four picture uploaded and when the last time I took notice, only one left (the one with me and peggy, which I removed from the album to prevent further abuse). Why the word abuse, I’ll explain later. Usually, I would have put a picture of my own as my primary picture. That’s what I did eversince I did put a picture on my profile.

No I dont believe it’s somekind of server error becasuse that bastard add a line in the shoutout section - "My most UGLY GirlFriend tht i ever had ……". Imagine the line goes along with the photo I took along with peggy… Such an @sshole! I dont know why this happen to me. If this meant to be a prank, it’s not funny. If this is meant to make me look bad, you silly loser, STOP INSULTING MY FRIEND, YOU MOST CHICKEN, COWARDLY, BACKSTABBING, (TINY, WEENIE, SMALL) d*%KHEAD!!

I never have issue with my password on internet. If you know my password, I dont really care if you log on my account and read through stuff inside. It’s not like I’m having any big secret. But the thing is, dont F*#king abuse it. What kind of jerk would do this kind of stuff? Is it doing anyone any good?

Thanks Fatt, if not you with your comment in my blog. I wouldnt realize what the hell is going on. You can judge from my replied comment that I have not a clue what’s going on.

Anyway, no more picture. Have a cute panda instead.

p/s: (WARNING) Hacked me again, I’ll whack you!

Just been to a wedding dinner, my cousin’s one.

Frankly I’ve never been to one ever since I’m like… erm…  10? Either way I didn’t volunteer to go for this one, Just that I happen to be in the right time and the right place so I was there.

I never like this kind of occasion. I think it’s just some sort of old school ceremony throw up to tired out everyone, wasting everyone’s time just to please some old lunatics. Apparently I was damn right, but not all. Because it’s even worse than what I have thought!

I sat in there 7.00pm. On the paper things should start at 7.30pm, but as any people would expected it start at 8.00pm. The food came out, it’s those kind of cheesy food you would expect at a dinner like this. I mean that’s perfectly fine, I can bear with this. Things started to go wrong 30 second after that, when a bitch (who suppose to be a hired singer) starting to sing some rubbish disco song on the stage. The bass, the beat is so loud and noisy that I seriously doubt if those old fellas sitting in front of the stage didn’t suffer a heart attack. Plus a little devil next to my table suddenly start scream-crying. It’s almost a miracle I didn’t choke myself to death eating under those circumstance.

Everything beyond that point went wrong. We finished each dish in 5 minutes. It took them 15 minutes to serve the next dish. The singing got worse when guest started to go to the stage to have their own session of karaoke. I have never ever come across singing of this bad. I actually felt like I’m at the venue of Malaysian’s Idol first stage. The slow serving speed and the horrible singing (I would prefer to call it seriously unpleasant noise actually) making the whole event a slow and torturing meal. By the time we finish 8 courses, I have finish 3 hours of my precious youth there, not including the time to commute all the way to Butterworth. If there’s one good thing about it, It’s everyone do know they have to smoke outside the restaurant. For that, I thank God.

Conclusion, if I could, I will never ever attend event like this, unless I’m obliged, or it’s my close friends wedding. Let me give you an advise, If you are getting marry and having a wedding party, allow only those who can really sing to sing or for the sake of everyone forget about karaoke. To save everyone’s time, make it punctual, make it short and make it quick. Have something like McDonald, easy, cheap and efficient.

Better still, just forget about the dinner and party, a short notice of the news will be enough.

Think deeper of it, Dont marry.

I like to mention this as well, this is for all those people who feel they have a singing talent that never been appreciated. If you really need to sing it out, there’s a place with all this little comfortable cubical rooms equipped with karaoke system. It’s sound-proved and you can sing until your throat explode for a charges as cheap as RM 10.00. Nobody will give a damn about whatever noise, I mean song you are singing. You can find it in Gurney Plaza at Gurney, Penang. It’s called ‘Redbox’.

No need to thank me for tip, I did it for the sake of the general public and yes you are welcome.

This is a tribute to all the people I spend times with during my 10 days KL Singapore trip, ghetto style. Well not really, I manage to spend almost every penny of my ang pau in 10 days time thanks to people I’m currently paying tribute to.

Considered the fact that I’m still lying in the hospital just the night before the day I left (I escaped from it minutes before jee kar reach my place to fetch me to KL), I’m lucky that I made it and most importantly, survive at all.

Spent 2 days in KL, which I was busy doing those regular stuff I use to do while I’m in collage, except gaming. And that include, wasting a hell lot of time, playing football, watching football, supper and more supper and a meal which left me feeling that I was robbed, good job guys. Two advises, only bring enough money for yourself whenever you go out with your friend. That save you from treat everyone else.  Second, DON’T eat at ‘Kluang Station’, not very nice, worse if you are the one paying.

It’s rather unexpected that I found myself in Singapore on the third day of the trip. It’s like hey I’m in KL, poof, oh, it’s Singapore. It’s a nice place, it’s clean, it’s tidy, it’s pretty much predictable and damn well-organised and it’s boring. You dont get robbed unlike Johor Baru, where you either rob or get robbed.

Guess where I’m? (tips: the blue round thing is Singapore Flyer)

But hell, other than that I quite like the place honestly. I only see my host Mr lai twice during all the weekdays I’m there. Most of the time, he left me a broken computer, keys to his house, a stack of comics and loads of download movies. "-.-

In my ambitious solo singapore exploration (I dont even have a map throughout the trip), I still manage to cover most of the tourism spot. I was 30 meters from the world largest fountain but I never realised that it was there.  I walk 2 km down the legendary Orchard Road where legends said it’s a shopping heaven and find myself still with empty hands towards the end. Went to the china town only to find most (food) stalls are closed because it’s chap-goh-meh.

Well of course I have seen the non stop vomiting merlion and the beauty of the city night view. I have throw myself a little night life feel at clerk quay. At a bar named ‘Clinic’, I gave myself a shot of cocktail in a plasma pack, kind of remind me of the night I spent in the hospital few days back. Note that this little pack of ‘plasma’ didnt cost less than what I have in hospital, 50 singapore dolar! How on earth I spent that while I’m sober!? I have also ate a whole 12 inched long sandwich after dissapointment of finding any decent snack at china town.

This little pack of green-ish ‘plasma’ cost me 50 singapore dolar!
Boy dont I look drunk…

Didnt get to Sentosa but had a glance of it across the strait, at vivo-city. Which I think is the only shopping complex in the country that make sense, in term of pricing and layout. Unlike others, I didnt mange to get lost and plus, I like the deco, the concept of it. It has a park with an artificial lake on the roof on the complex. Plus, I had some good meal there. In fact, I like it so much that I spent a full whole day there, giving up Bugis, which is singapore equivalent of Petaling Street.

I stated this as a little reminder to myself and a statement of appreciation to those with me on the trip, I end up bullshitting about pretty much everything I did in the past 9 days.

Shit.

Might as well mention that I went to JB. Instead of Sri Lanka crab promised to me as dinner, I end up having the so called "indonesian crab". Dont know how true is that, but it’s certainly no crap. Quite a meal I must say. Not to piss off Ah Hooi, yes, that seafood in Klang is splendid as well, pity we only having 6 dish, not 9 or 10. Haha…

Oh there are leftout as well, and this gonna dissapoint everyone and probably myself as well, I DIDNT get to visit Geylang.

Conclusion, this is a rather chaotic, unorganised and unplanned trip. I end up missing lots of thing that I should have done (like going to Geylang) and spending much more than expected…

I dont care!

I’m having too much fun, I’ll make it round europe this way as well. Next time…

My head is a bit messed up right now. So many thing. My mind is constantly way over operating capacity. Even when I sleeping. I dream of stuff, random stuff, stuff I know, stuff I dont know.

If human brain is like a computer’s CPU, can I just shut it down? Just for a minute. Just to clear the cache memory, unclog the overflown memory buffer, or even cool it down a bit.

Have a moment of static.

System shutting down…

Cut me off from reality.

Ending all processing task…

No more problem to solve.

Reseting all register value…

No more things to remember.

Clearing all memory…

Free of everything.

System Shut Down.

Being a machine is so great. You work at full capacity then you rest totally. You broke down, someone will fixed you, or throw you away. No worries, shorter and easier life.

While I slowing being pummelled to exhaustion in life, the two thing I need is sport and sex.

The problem is, I can’t find a bunch of people that are willing to play sport with me. On the other hand, I dont want to have sex with a bunch of random people.

Troubled… Life isn’t easy.

There are 2 way to change the world.

The conventional way or the hard way: go change everything, people, how stuff works, future… etc.

Another easy alternative: change yourself.

Sometime I wish I could just do nothing. And I mean absolutely nothing.

You know, just lay there and rot.

not working, not playing, no damnation, no salvation.

Dammit!

Went to eat kebab last night and mine-o-mine I consumed a huge chunk of kalories. I finish a full box of salad, chips, wedges, lamp tikka, chicken fillet and 2 huge piece of Chicken drumsticks. Thought I have cut down my meal volume by a considerable amount for the past few months, but surprisingly I’m still capable to eating that much. Just like my oldself. If there’s only one thing to consider I’m good at, it’s eating.

If you know what kebab I’m talking about, yes, It’s a special set meal 2. If you have no idea, think this way, I stuffed a 20cm x 10cm x 10cm of whatever I mentioned above into my stomach in a single meal. Gosh I’m good at it! And did I mention I had a can of soda as well?

Anyway, Summer is here. And that means those Junior is here. Can be good or Bad. Good thing is there will some event going on so life is not so boring. At least, never short of player for a football session. Bad thing is, Supermarket is going to running low on stock for certain item primary 28p breads, rice, speghetti and source or even chicken drumsticks! Shit… Remind me to go shopping on Thursday before the first batch of them arrive.

5.30pm, 30 May 2007